Recently, a friend of mine relayed a story about a concern that her sixteen-year-old daughter was having in school. This is not a case of being bullied by other students, in fact, it is a case of being bullied by a teacher. This teacher is her theater teacher and is requiring her to make (In my humble opinion) unreasonable sacrifices for the class. First, Julie lives with her single mom, who is not independantly wealthy, so Julie, being a normal teenager who wants spending money for clothes and social activities has a part-time job after school. She told her theater teacher about the job and she requested that he not give her a part in the next play. Instead, she asked to help with costumes – an area where her talent shines. I also want to mention that theater is an elective class (and I thought it was supposed to be fun).
The teacher in question is a twenty-six-year-old man, who is big and tall – 6 feet three and 300 pounds. My friend’s daughter, we’ll call her “Julie” for now, is five feet tall and about 100 pounds. So, you can see right away that we’ve got a huge size difference, which could lead to an intimidation factor. We ALL see that, right? Next, we have the whole authority figure issue. This man is her teacher, so theoretically, she must do what he says in order to pass the class.
Totally ignoring her request, the teacher gave her not one, but three parts in the play. She explained to him that she had to work and could not commit to all of the rehearsals. His response to her was “Call out of work.” When my friend told me this, it just seemed counter-intuitive. If a teenager has a job, it’s a good thing. They are learning responsibility, trustworthiness, and integrity – not to mention the value of a dollar.
Julie simply apologized, telling him that it was not going to be possible and that his request would likely get her fired. Then the bell rang, and she left for her next class. As Julie sat in her U.S. History class, a core class for graduating, the theater teacher came to the door and took her out of class in order to set her straight about her bad attitude. He proceeded to yell at her for a couple of minutes.
He has also instituted a policy in the class to get the other students to gang up on the weak link. How? They are all punished for one kid’s malfeasance. So now Julie is getting angry text messages from her fellow students and snide comments in class.
I feel that it is important that I mention that Julie is an A student and is not having any difficulties in any other classes. Just this one.
What bothers me about this situation is that I am all about empowering women – women of all ages. Julie’s mother is raising her to be a strong and assertive woman, and I know that she is doing a great job. My concern is that this teacher (and granted, he is new, so hopefully he will mellow out) is treading on dangerous ground by treating Julie so badly. I think that everyone, including young people deserve to be treated respectfully. But then there is the gender issue.
Will this have a lasting effect on Julie and how she regards male authority figures? The golden rule should apply to all of us, not just those of us who are over eighteen. My reason for posting this is to get your opinions.
What do you think about this? Do you consider the teacher’s behavior to be bullying?
Would you feel the same way if he were a woman?
How would you respond in a parent-teacher conference if Julie were your daughter?